Archive for the ‘Visible Love’ Category

Christmas Cactus from my Grandmother

I have been reminded time and time again that it is a gift to be used in the Service of Love.

May you bloom into your gifts, be of service and seek out love today and always.

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Christmas Light

A friend of mine wrote this prayer when she was looking for the words to soothe an aching heart and couldn’t find them.

Sometimes that is how the In-Between is… we may find what we need in other people, other’s words, and sometimes we need to write it ourselves, to seek our own healing, to seek our own inner wisdom, to take time to search for the hope held deep within ourselves.

Wherever you are in your In-Between may you find peace, may you find rest for the restless nights, may you find light in the midst of darkness, may you hold yourself gently as you navigate your journey.

May the God of unconditional love surround those that are hurting this Advent season. Loss of jobs, loss of loved ones, and loss of relationships can lead into a loss of hope. Help us to nurture the traditions that heal while creating new ways to honor those not physically present this year. As we fill our hearts with the songs of the season, fill our hearts with gentle compassion for the ones finding it hard to prepare for a Silent Night.


~ Alison Feigh


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A few of my loyal fans

Hard at work signing away!

This weekend was my first book signing at The Coffee Shop in my hometown and so many of  my loyal fans stopped by to share their love and support.  It was so much fun to have so many of my friends and family making a long journey (even through our first snowstorm of the winter!) to share the day with me.  There were people from all parts of my life and as far away as Colorado!  The journey to this day has been an amazing one, full of the depths of pain and loss and the heights of love overflowing and grace- and to be able to spend the day in celebration, sharing good coffee, good food, good conversation and lots of hugs was such a gift.

People kept streaming in, showing up with hugs, smiles and well wishes and it was such a reminder to me that there are so many people that are willing to celebrate with us, to share success, to support and to guide us through our lives.  More often than not it is just a matter of extending the invitation.  These are the same people who gathered me in love and held me as my life shattered and now they are coming to celebrate the weaving together of the broken pieces, sharing the journey in large and small ways.

I have gotten letters in the mail, phone calls, prayers, messages on my Facebook, on my blog, and special gifts that are constant reminders that we are held in so much love, even when we can’t see it or feel it.  I have made it a practice to collect these magical moments to help me remember when the sadness creeps in, or when the love and support feel further away.  Cards on my fridge, moments captured in my journal to read over when I need that reminder of all the support that surrounds me, a list of gifts that I add to every day to remind myself to stop and be thankful for all the gifts that surround me.  All of these things have enabled me to be strong in the broken places, to remind myself of who I am when I have forgotten and to share the same support with others who need it.  And that is really what the book was created to do, to be that gift, to be that voice, to share what I have been given.

After the official festivities were over I had invited everyone over to my house for food, conversation and fun.  When I was in the other room getting the leaf to put in the table I stopped for just a minute and I heard the comingling of voices, the intermittent bursts of laughter, the voices I could instantly recognize and I just sat there for a minute taking it all in… this is my home that they are filling with love, this is my book signing party surrounded by all of my favorite people and what just kept on rolling over and over in my head was the phrase- “This is what love sounds like.”

Indeed this is what love sounds like.

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I was saddened to hear of the passing of Steve Jobs today… but I have also been moved as Facebook has lit up with people sharing quotes, pictures and memories.  And it just solidifies what I already knew, but needed to be reminded of.  People respond to passion, they respond to integrity, to quality, to leadership, to intellect, to kindness, to hope, to love.

People who have found their passion and live it out on a day to day basis shine- and his light shines brightly, even now in the midst of a dark night.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

~ Steve Jobs

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

~ Steve Jobs

Mr. Jobs- Thank you for changing the world.

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A Dream Realized

Two years ago I set a date and a plan in place to realize a dream of mine.

And now, here it is, after stops and starts, edits, writing, re-writing, waiting, a few tears, staring at the words until they swam in front of my eyes, obsessing about the placement of periods, which pictures to choose, what to say yes to, what to say no to and so much more… a book of my very own, with an ISBN number and everything!

I remember being out of college and working a second job at Barnes and Noble and there were so many times that I would hold a book in my hands, feel its weight, smell its pages, touch the front cover reverently thinking, someday…

And today is that day!

So much more to say, to share, to talk about… but for now… this… this moment is enough.

I am off to dance, celebrate and revel in the fact that I did it.

Thanks for all your love and support!

Click here to order a copy of your very own!



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“What if the world is holding its breath –
waiting for you to take the place that only you can fill?”

~ David Whyte

Sometimes I get stuck between the place of absolutely knowing that I have something unique to say, and recognizing that what I have to say has been talked about for literally thousands of years.  Things that I love to talk about, read about, write about all have similar threads of all of the books, love songs and great speeches and sermons that have been given over the years.  Love (others and yourself), hope in the midst of darkness, the importance of presence and deep listening and so much more.  Their roots run deep and their stories have been told in a multitude of ways.  So it begs the question, what is one more line, story, blog, book going to do?

But then as it always does something will come along, a quote, a conversation, a reminder in some way, tucked in the fabric of my life that I am here to fill a place that is only mine to fill, to share a certain light, to hold a certain space… and by doing that, by finding my gifts, by being clear about my needs, by listening to my own heart I will take my space in the world, I will fill the gap with my name on it.

And as this world gets more and more complex, more and more demands, full of more have tos and opportunities I am reminded time and time again of the importance of being reminded of these simple pieces… noticing our gifts, breathing in this present moment, deeply listening, in all ways choosing love, trusting in the Mystery, holding a space for grief and loss, sharing kindness, holding hope… and so perhaps part of my place is to be that reminder that it really can be that simple.

To love one another, be kind, be present, live fully.

Smile more and speak less.

Let silence hold you, peace fill you and love pour from you.

So dear ones… what piece, what place is the world waiting for from you… and what can you do to start living into your dream, your rightful place in the world today?

Don’t wait any longer…
The World Is Holding Its Breath…

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This week I had a friend who was travelling for work and to make it a little more interesting I challenged her to a scavenger hunt. There were 20 items on her list and the last one was:

20. Take a picture of peace.

And since I am never one to give anyone something I wouldn’t be willing to do, I was thinking a lot about what my pictures of peace would look like.

It just so happened that I was able to go to my grandparents farm this weekend to spend some time with them, soaking in some time on the farm, time spent laughing, sharing, and enjoying one another.  And since it is one of the places that I feel most at peace it wasn’t too difficult to find some opportunities to picture peace.

So these are my pictures of peace from this weekend:


I recently found a project that Joan Steffend Brandmeier is helping to further- Peace Begins With Me, and it inspired me to think about ways that I can help create peace… and I often wonder what it would look like if we spent more time picturing peace.  Figuring out what our role was in it, what little part we can play in the larger whole.

Since my day job is to help create healthy relationships, to further healthy communities and so much of that is contingent upon creating more peace within homes, within our communities as they are inextricably linked… it comes as no surprise that I often find myself thinking about peace.

In invite you to check out Joan’s link and I would love to hear, what little piece of peace will you offer?

Another seed that was planted was while attending a workshop on writing that was offered by John Noltner a few weeks ago.  He is doing a beautiful project called A Peace of My Mind.  John invited people to answer the question: What Does Peace Mean To You?  They are putting together a book and have a campaign on kickstarter (and on Facebook) that tells the story of the project that is well worth watching.

So what does peace look like to you, what parts of peace do you cultivate in your own life?  Are there any pictures in your life that create peace for you?  Who has been a role model for peace in your own life?

All things I will be mulling over as I continue to look for opportunities to picture peace.

I would love to hear your thoughts…

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It’s All Gift

My recent Facebook Status: “I am completely happy with my life.”

As of this moment 35 people on my Facebook page “liked” it.  Which reminded me of a truth that I had forgotten, I have surrounded myself with people who want me to be happy.  People who for the most part know my strength and many of my struggles and who want the best for me.  Who are excited when I am excited, who mourn when I mourn, but who also celebrate when I celebrate.   We all need a cheering section, our tribe, our flock, a group of people that want the best for us, who are in our corner, who see us through the hard times. These people are the number one reason why I lay my head on the pillow at night with a smile on my face and a prayer of gratitude in my heart.

After pressing enter I started to wonder- is it really true?  That is a bold statement.  A while ago I would have waited for my life to be “perfect” for me to write that.  There are still a lot of places I struggle in my life, there are people I love who are hurting and therefore I hurt for them, there are things that aren’t “perfect” (i.e. the way “my” life plan was “supposed” to go)- but yet- in spite of that I am happy.   I am perfectly imperfect, and so is my life.

I have a lot of people I care about in my life that are going through significant things, cancer, infertility, new babies, babies in NICU’s, divorce, unhappy marriages just to name a few over the past week.  Thinking back there has never been a time when someone wasn’t in the hospital, or struggling with something significant, but in the past I would have felt like it was a betrayal if I was happy when they were suffering.  It has finally dawned on me that if there are people in my life there will be illnesses/drama/issues that will come up.  I can still care deeply for them, and I will hurt when they hurt, but if I wait for all of my friends and family to be happy and healthy before I can be- I will never get there.

If I wait for me to have no struggles, no worries, I will never get there.  Or if I do it is because I have stopped growing, stopped learning, stopped reaching for my dreams and I will be too stifled and to afraid of losing it all to enjoy it anyway.

If I wait until all of the things fall into place before I allow myself to be happy I will never get there.

I have decided that I want peace and happiness over worry.  Too much of what I used to worry about isn’t worth my time and I have learned to worry less and be happy more.  And the things I used to worry about happening, still don’t happen, and if they do I have to deal with them anyway.

When I appreciate each moment as it comes, when I recognize that there will always be reasons to celebrate and reasons to mourn, when I remember there is always beauty to be found, love to be shared, hope to be had I can say pretty much every day “Today was amazing”.

I am realizing too that it is becoming less about the “things” that are happening to me, and more about who I am, how I show up for my life that I am concerned about. Less of life happening “to” me, and more of me deciding who I am going to be in the midst of it.  Like it or not life will happen.  Life will rock you to your core when you least expect it, it will shake you up, it will wear you down, it will fill you up, it will send you places you never even dreamed, regardless of whether you think you are or aren’t ready it will happen.

When having a conversation about difficult times in life being “opportunities for growth”, and opportunities to create and find meaning in life a friend offered some wisdom her friend frequently comes back to:  “It’s all gift.”  I decided to try that on for a bit, play with that idea, and let it simmer for awhile.   I have to say it has worked for me.  Even things over time that aren’t wrapped in pretty paper or topped with a pretty bow still turned out to bring me lessons, open my eyes, and crack my heart wide open to let the love in.

Living my life in this way allows me to find the beauty in the midst of pain, it allows me to revel in the moments that are going to exist no matter what, so I choose to make the best of them.  It allows me to release the control of having to make things “fit”, or “turn out” and instead I get to embrace each moment as a gift.

And that means that I am completely happy with my life.

And it’s all gift.

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Washing over me…

There have been so many times that I have been brought to tears by the beauty that is in my life. People using their talents, following the urgings of their heart, who have found their calling, found their peace.. and moments later seeing those who are struggling to find a moment of peace and tranquility in the midst of the raging of life and their inner demons swirling around them.

And I take a moment now to sit with it.

To let it wash over me, the love, the pain, the hope, the beauty… life is so very full, so amazing, so fragile- yet stronger than anything I have ever known.

To feel the complexity of it all…
And yet, to know the simplicity of it…
LOVE is all that matters,
But I still struggle with the complexity of how that is lived out on a daily basis.

Sometimes the words that I struggle to string together don’t do it justice,
but I try anyway.

I show up and spill my heart on the page,
I share what has touched me,
I laugh with those who laugh,
I cry with those who cry.

I welcome you to join me and share what touches you, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what brings you joy, where you see beauty and what words you would like me to string together for you!

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Grandma's PeoniesGrandma’s Peonies ~ Summer 2011

I have been thinking a lot about that idea.

The idea of love made visible, and what that might look like, how it is experienced and how I can contribute to the experience of love made visible.

This blog is an exploration of that theme, of my life as a prayer, as the desire for my love to be made visible.  My love of beauty, of words, of friends, family and self.  What it would look like if I fell in love every day, if I made my love visible every day…

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