We have been hearing a lot of bad news in the world lately, and with all that is happening it is easy to find ourselves despairing at the state of the world. It certainly seems that there is a fair share of darkness that has been dominating lately. I wanted to offer a little light, and the reminder that things are not always what they seem.
The other day I was presenting on my favorite topic to a group of college students, the “Art of Deep Listening”. I always begin the presentation the same way, by asking the group to share the last time that they felt deeply listened to. It is interesting to see the themes emerge and hear people share their stories of feeling loved through listening. According to my informal poll, it seems that mothers and best friends are the best listeners.
One of the young woman shared about how the night before as she had been stressing about finals, and overwhelmed with everything she had to do her roommate deeply listened. She never told her that she was overreacting, she didn’t tell her to suck it up, or try to show her all that she did had under control, or share with her all of her solutions. Instead, she listened generously, shared her presence for as long as it was needed, and then, she made her a waffle for breakfast that morning.
And sure enough, after a good night of sleep, feeling heard and understood the world seemed a lot more manageable, and whatever was looming large the night before seemed to fall into place, at least a little bit. But the kind act of being provided for, of being nurtured and cared about “fixed” what was “broken”. Her roommate knew a secret that we too often forget… sometimes things aren’t meant to be fixed, or changed in that moment, it is in these small acts of kindness, of nurturing that we heal each other. It is in these small acts of compassion that we remind each other that the world can be a safe place. It is in offering a safe space to be that healing can happen.
When we can offer a soft place to land for those we love, when we can share with one another our little acts of love, we light up the world.
And we could all use a little more light in the world.
Erica Staab 
As usual Erica, in your lovely soft way, you shared this beautifully. Everyone is so unusually stressed these days…. All searching for relief and some answers. Thanks for sharing, wise woman.
How’s that babe? Blessings on this day of Thanksgiving!
Tish
Thank you Tish! She is amazing 🙂 Smiling and “talking” more every day. I am loving every minute of it.
Amen
Right on Erica, and you my friend are the perfect example. It’s sometimes difficult when two listeners get together. But if a certain subject comes up one or the other can soar. I have shared deeply and brought out deep feelings in the other soul. It’s a two way street. I’ve been critized in earlier days for being to good of a listener and not sharing. I sometimes go too far in sharing the last few years but I still want to hear their story. Keep up your great listening skills my friend and may you and your new family have the merriest of Christmas.
That is so true… it is a balance isn’t it? I find myself on either side at various points, not sharing enough, sharing too much… but I suppose that is all part of it as well. I have committed to being more aware, and the rest, well it is what it is 🙂
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