The other day I ran into a friend who had said he was thinking of me the other day because someone had asked a question and he knew I would love it. As I have written about before I am a bit obsessed with questions. I think they are pretty fantastic and often open up new ways of being, thinking and seeing.
Instead of “How are you?” his friend has started to ask “Who are you becoming?”
It was so exciting to me on two levels, one is because he knew that I would like it, and it feels good to be known, to be thought of, to be seen. And isn’t that what friendship is? To take note of something that another would like, to share bits and pieces of life and to say in ways big and small… You Matter To Me.
And two because it is simply a fantastic question. One that opens up so many possibilities for conversation and for truly engaging more deeply in one another’s lives.
And I thought about the deepening of friendships, of getting to know people on a new levels and how that happens. As I look at many of my relationships and how they have deepened over time and I look at ways that they have gotten stuck, ways that they have gone sideways, forwards and backwards I am reminded that friendships are living breathing things that need to be tended with love and attention. Sometimes we need to see people in new ways, to be reminded of who they are becoming, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves of who we would like to become.
For today… give yourself permission, space and time to grow into who you are becoming.
Erica Staab 
“Sometimes we need to see people in new ways, to be reminded of who they are becoming, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves of who we would like to become.” I love this. Just love it! Thank you!!!
Thank you Erica! I love and needed this!
Reblogged this on Hangin' by a thread and commented:
I love this post by Erica Staab! Who are you becoming?
Beautiful and so true.
Thank you for this lovely entry Erica! I am reminded everyday of the healing power of friends! When I was diagnosed with cancer last year, I did not anticipate the wondrous gifts that the disease would bring. Time is one. Time to reconnect to the many friends and family membrs that have heard, in one way or another, about my condition and have called and sent cards and emails wonderful flowers, food and love! A cousin in Idaho that I have not seen in over 40 years sent me precious, homemade applesauce and unbelieveable vegetable soup made from products grown on her organic farm!! I have had time for long, wide-ranging conversations with dear friends and visits from precious sisters and brothers who have taken time off from work to come and be with me during my quiet times in the bed or the rocker, recovering from the treatments. I treasure these deepening relationships and have been changed by the exquisite love and sweet attention that they have blessed me with. My connection and compassion for others has increased ten-fold and I will always carry with me the reminder that, in the end, only kindness matters. Much Love to you and to my entire human family….and animals too!
What amazing connections and what beauty has been allowed to blossom 🙂
I miss you and your gentle loving presence!
Vicki-
What beautiful examples of love and care… and certainly only a fraction of what you have offered in your own lifetime. As a matter of fact I just went to the store last night because I had found the recipe for lentil soup that you had given me so long ago and on the side it said “Warm and healing” and so I intend to make that tonight 🙂
Love and misses,
Erica
Questions – I love them! One of my favorites to ask my kiddos when they share about meeting a new friend is “What color is their voice?”. My kids are used to living with a teacher-mom who looks at the world in a different way. They usually come up with a color – like her voice is teal because she makes me feel like I’m at the ocean.
I’ve always wanted to write a book: How to get past “How are You?” in friendship!
I am sorry Kandy I am just seeing this now! I LOVE that question… what a beautiful way to look at the world 🙂
I think that would be a great book and that you should get to writing!