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Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

Mitch2
It is hard to believe it has been 7 years since my brother died.

Anniversaries are always… well, they are always something.

Sometimes they are hard and you can barely get through them, sometimes they pass more silently, sometimes the anticipation is harder than the day itself, but always it is made easier by all those who remember, who tell stories, who help remember and who help comfort.

I have learned a lot in the past 7 years, but the thing that sticks out today isn’t what was fixed, because something like that couldn’t be fixed, but instead what fills my heart is an immense gratitude for the times people have been there, with hands and hearts outstretched, willing to do whatever needed to be done.

And sometimes all that was to be “done” was to sit with us as we cried, got angry, laughed and then cried some more.  Please know that your presence, your love, your kindness has helped our family heal.

Glennon Melton Carry On Warrior2

This little gem is from Glennon Melton’s WONDERFUL book-

Carry On Warrior-The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life

(if you haven’t read it what are you waiting for?!?!)

For those of you who have been my “In Case of Emergencies” I thank you, for the nights when you heard my sobs over the phone, or in person, for those times you just showed up for a hug, for those times you sent a card to let me know you hadn’t forgotten, the random texts at Facebook messages at just the right time, for those times you would offer to take me out to dinner to get away from it all, I knew I was never alone.  And for that I can never thank you enough…

Thank you for not taking away my pain, but being willing to walk through it with me.

Thank you for all the times you hurt for me, and yet you did the hardest and most loving thing, to let me have my sacred journey and instead reminded me (early and often) that I wasn’t alone.

Thank you to all of my In Case of Emergencies… you are so very precious to me.

 

 

 

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Bates

The other day I ran into a friend who had said he was thinking of me the other day because someone had asked a question and he knew I would love it.  As I have written about before I am a bit obsessed with questions.  I think they are pretty fantastic and often open up new ways of being, thinking and seeing.

Instead of “How are you?” his friend has started to ask “Who are you becoming?”

 

It was so exciting to me on two levels, one is because he knew that I would like it, and it feels good to be known, to be thought of, to be seen.  And isn’t that what friendship is?  To take note of something that another would like, to share bits and pieces of life and to say in ways big and small… You Matter To Me.

And two because it is simply a fantastic question.  One that opens up so many possibilities for conversation and for truly engaging more deeply in one another’s lives.

 

 

And I thought about the deepening of friendships, of getting to know people on a new levels and how that happens.  As I look at many of my relationships and how they have deepened over time and I look at ways that they have gotten stuck, ways that they have gone sideways, forwards and backwards I am reminded that friendships are living breathing things that need to be tended with love and attention.  Sometimes we need to see people in new ways, to be reminded of who they are becoming, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves of who we would like to become.

For today… give yourself permission, space and time to grow into who you are becoming.

 

 

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