The other day I ran into a friend who had said he was thinking of me the other day because someone had asked a question and he knew I would love it. As I have written about before I am a bit obsessed with questions. I think they are pretty fantastic and often open up new ways of being, thinking and seeing.
Instead of “How are you?” his friend has started to ask “Who are you becoming?”
It was so exciting to me on two levels, one is because he knew that I would like it, and it feels good to be known, to be thought of, to be seen. And isn’t that what friendship is? To take note of something that another would like, to share bits and pieces of life and to say in ways big and small… You Matter To Me.
And two because it is simply a fantastic question. One that opens up so many possibilities for conversation and for truly engaging more deeply in one another’s lives.
And I thought about the deepening of friendships, of getting to know people on a new levels and how that happens. As I look at many of my relationships and how they have deepened over time and I look at ways that they have gotten stuck, ways that they have gone sideways, forwards and backwards I am reminded that friendships are living breathing things that need to be tended with love and attention. Sometimes we need to see people in new ways, to be reminded of who they are becoming, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves of who we would like to become.
For today… give yourself permission, space and time to grow into who you are becoming.
Erica Staab 